Wesley's Revenge
by Jaala
Summary: The long-awaited sequel to "The Night the VISOR Escaped"! Go ahead and read it, I have a recap in there. You'll laugh. You'll cry. And you'll never look at Worf the same way.


**AN: First, let me thank everybody who's reviewed my other parodies. I really appreciate it and it's good to learn that my sense of humor isn't totally off. Second, let me thank my best friend for laughing in all the right places.**

Okay, explanation time. Somebody requested a sequel to my parody, "The Night the VISOR Escaped", ([Read it here][1]) so I did one. I really do recommend that you read the first one(it's real short). But if you don't, I have a little recap within the story to introduce you to what has already happened.

Last, finally, for those of you who aren't as big Star Trek geeks as I am, Pakleds are short, fat little aliens that made an appearance in either the 1st or 2nd season. They abducted Geordi and went on about making things go. They're not totally important to the story, but I put them in because I think they are the funniest aliens in Trek.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Enjoy

{We see a view of open space. Then, from the side, a small ship races past the screen making cool special effects noises that cost quite a bit of money.

Cut to a view of the bridge on the Enterprise. Picard is sitting in the Captain's chair, playing Solitaire on the viewscreen. The rest of the bridge crew is watching.}

Riker: Red 5 on Black 6.

Picard: What?

Riker: Red 5 on Black 6.

Picard: Where? (He looks at the screen)

Riker: Here! Let me do it! (He reaches over to grab the mouse but Picard hits him in the stomach)

Picard: This is MY game!

Riker: (Wheezes)

Data: Sir, I'm detecting a small ship coming towards us.

Troi: Captain, I sense a small ship coming towards us.

Picard: (Rolls eyes) On screen. (He waits)

Data: Sir, you will have to turn your Solitaire game off.

Picard: (Grumbles, but turns it off) NOW on screen.

(The screen shows a view of the ship we saw in the opening scene.)

Troi: (Screams and faints to the floor)

Riker: Captain, permission to go to Sickbay!

Picard: By all means, Number One. We must get the Counselor to Sickby immediately!

Riker: (Clutching stomach) No, sir, my tummy hurts.

Picard: (Gives Riker a strange look) Very well, take her with you.

(Riker leaves, dragging Troi behind him)

Picard: I think I like her better like that.

Worf: As do I.

Picard: (Stands up and adjusts his shirt. He has a bit of trouble and it takes him a good minute or so to get it just right) Well, hail the ship. If they're hostile, offer our surrender.

Data: They are hailing US, sir.

Picard: Oh, I see. THEY'RE surrendering. Clever trick. On screen.

(The viewscreen comes on and we see...nothing yet. Dramatic music comes on and a close-up of the bridge character's horrified faces appear. The music cuts off to go to the credits.)

{There are the credits. Some commercials you really don't care about. An announcer informing you that you ARE, in fact, watching Star Trek...as if you forgot. Then we get back to the show. I bet the suspense is killing you.}

{Cut back to bridge, everybody looking at the viewscreen. On the screen is...Wesley...wearing Geordi's VISOR.}

Wesley: (Laughs) Revenge will be mine! (More laughter)

(The viewscreen shuts off. Everybody looks at Picard.)

Picard: (Looks at Worf) Didn't you throw him out an airlock?

Worf: (Shrugs)

{Scene change to: Engineering. Geordi is sitting at a console running his fingers over the buttons. But he doesn't have his VISOR so he can't see. He pushes a button and the warning lights and sounds go off.)

Computer: Warning! Warning! Warp Core Overload imminent.

Geordi: Ah crap! Not again!

Nameless Ensign: Sir! (Runs over and pushes some more buttons. The warnings go off) Sir, why don't you go play - er - work on the replicators. I don't think you're in any condition to try to work on the warp core.

Geordi: Ensign, I am the chief engineer of this ship. Eyesight or no eyesight, I can take care of the warp core. I just accidentally pushed the wrong button. Now go away!

Nameless Ensign: Yes, sir. (Doesn't move)

Geordi: I know you're still there.

Nameless Ensign: But, sir...

Geordi: Get out of here!

Nameless Ensign: Yes, sir. (Leaves)

(Geordi's communicator goes off.)

Picard: (Over comm) Geordi, report to the conference room immediately.

Geordi: Yes, sir.

{Scene change to: The ready room. Picard, Worf, Data, and Dr. Crusher are there.}

Picard: Here's the situation. 2 months ago, Geordi's VISOR went on a mad rampage around the ship. Mr. Worf skillfully solved the problem by using Wesley as bait for the VISOR and then throwing him out the airlock. Somehow, Wesley survived and he is now in a small ship wanting revenge on us.

Data: That was a good recap for the people who have not read the first part, sir.

Picard: Thank you, Mr. Data. Now, I need suggestions. Wesley has already put 2 crewmen in Sickbay...

Crusher: Two?

Picard: Yes, Riker and Troi.

Crusher: Riker's in Sickbay because you hit him in the stomach.

Picard: Did not.

Crusher: He told me that you did.

Picard: (Leans over and says very slowly) I - did - not - hit - my - first - officer.

Crusher: (Nods) I see. Okay. Wesley did it.

Picard: Good. Now, suggestions, please.

Data: Where is Geordi?

(Worf's communicator goes off.)

Worf: Yes?

Security officer: (Over comm) Sir? We have Geordi in custody.

(The crew looks blankly at each other)

Worf: Why?

Security officer: (Over comm) He wandered into the women's shower room...there were some complaints.

Geordi: (Can be heard faintly over comm) The one time...the ONE TIME I get into that room, I can't see! It's not fair! Not fair, I tell you!

Picard: Um...just bring him here.

Security Officer: (Over comm) Okey-dokey.

Picard: Okay, now, where were we?

Data: We were discussing our options.

Picard: Oh, yes. I think surrender is our best option.

Worf: I say we fight with honor. And kill the little snotfink once and for all.

Everybody else but Picard: Yes!

Picard: (Sighs) Okay! Whatever.

(Worf's communicator goes off again.)

Another Security Officer: (Over comm) We have an intruder alert!

Picard: The Borg?

Crusher: The Romulans?

Worf: Wesley?

Another Security Officer: (Over comm) No...Pakleds!

{Scene change to Engineering. A group of Pakleds are huddled around a terrified engineer.}

Pakled #1: You're smart.

Pakled #2: You can make things go.

Pakled #3: Can you make us go?

Engineer: Sure, whatever. Just stop talking like that, please! (Covers ears and curls up on the floor.)

Pakled #2: He's smart.

Pakled #4: He can make things go.

(Doors open and Worf enters with a crowd of security officers. Rambo music starts as macho camera angles of Worf looking tough commence.)

Pakled #1: Ooo...he's strong.

Pakled #3: He can kill things.

Worf: (Dramatic music. A close-up on his determined face) You got that right.

(The music hits its climax as Worf draws his phaser and shoots all the Pakleds. Then he smiles...well...sneers.)

Engineer: Thank you, sir!

Worf: Forget it. All in a day's work.

(Bad boy music as Worf turns and walks out of Engineering, the other security officers staring after him as if he is God.)

{Scene change to the conference room. Data, Picard, and Worf are there.}

Worf: He is after me?

Data: Yes. The Pakleds were sent to try your patience. I shudder to think what he will try next.

Worf: Why me?

Picard: You pushed him out the airlock.

Worf: Oh yeah. (Pause) I am not afraid.

Data: You should be.

Worf: Why?

Data: Wesley. Geordi's VISOR. Revenge. Think about it.

Worf: (Thinks) I'm screwed.

Data: Yep.

{Scene change to Sick Bay. It's dark and Troi lies on a medical bed with an agonized expression on her face. Riker is pacing the floor, wondering when Dr. Crusher will release him for duty. We see a shadow stalk across the room. Riker turns.}

Riker: Who's there?

Wesley: (Popping out from behind a large machine and waving like a dork) Me!

Riker: (Faints)

Wesley: (Smiles and goes over to Troi. He injects her with some stuff and then starts to laugh evilly.)

{Scene change to conference room where Worf, Data, and Picard are still talking.}

Worf: Why don't we just destroy his ship?

Data: He's deactivated our weapons somehow.

Worf: Of course. That's convenient.

Picard: We need Riker.

Data: Why?

Picard: To help us come up with ideas.

Data: Sir, my statistics indicate that it is I who comes up with the ideas, not Riker.

Picard: I want Riker. Come on!

(Data and Worf shrug and then leave to go to Sick Bay)

{Scene change to Sick Bay. Worf, Data, and Picard enter and find Riker passed out on the floor.}

Data: (Flicks the lightswitch on and off, but nothing happens) Lights are out.

Worf: What happened to him?

Wesley: He saw me! (He steps out from behind the same piece of machinery. Worf gets his phaser.) Don't! I've injected Troi with some new poison I made. I want Worf to come back to my ship with me. Then I'll give you the antidote.

Picard: Let's talk about this. I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement -

Worf: Sir, I will go. (He looks at Troi as if questioning whether it's really worth it) For the ship.

Picard: (Rolls eyes) Okay. Fine. Go ahead!

Wesley: Good choice, Mr. Worf. My revenge on you will be perfect.

(Wesley and Worf beam off the Enterprise and onto Wesley's ship. The ship then speeds off very quickly.)

Data: Was he not supposed to give us the antidote?

Picard: Shhh! Maybe he'll forget.

{A week later, everybody's on the bridge when a ship appears on screen. It's Wesley's ship!}

Riker: Raise shields! Red alert!

Data: Sir, Mr. Worf is gone, and we have no chief of security. There is nobody TO raise shields.

Riker: Well, darn!

Data: We are being hailed, sir.

Picard: (Stands up and pulls down on his uniform) On screen!

(Worf appears on screen)

Worf: I am back. (He smiles) I am free! (Holds up Geordi's VISOR) And I have gotten rid of Wesley.

Picard: Well done, Mr. Worf! I want a full report when you get on board.

{Scene change to Engineering where Geordi is putting on his VISOR. Worf is there.}

Worf: And so he ended up choking on a sundae while laughing at one of my jokes. Then I threw him out the airlock.

Geordi: Well, I'm glad you got my VISOR back. I felt empty without it. Now what did he do to you for revenge?

Worf: (Stiffly) I'd rather not talk about it.

Geordi: Wait a minute.

Worf: What?

Geordi: I'm going through the playback function of my VISOR to see what happened to it while Wesley was wearing it...

Worf: Yes?

Geordi: Is that you? In a dress? Singing?

Worf: I'd rather not talk about it.

(Geordi starts to laugh, but Worf gives him "The Look". He shuts up.)

Geordi: It must've been horrible.

Worf: I must go. I'm on duty.

Geordi: (Giggles)

Worf: You will tell no one.

Geordi: Of course not!

Worf: (Leans in close and says slowly) You - Will -Tell - No - One.

Geordi: Er...I won't. Between you and me.

(Worf leaves and Geordi breathes a sigh of relief.)

**AN(cont'd) Love it? Hate it? Please review. I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when you do. And don't we all need warm and fuzzy feelings once in a while?**

   [1]: http://blue.fanfiction.net/master.cfm?action=story-read&storyid=18771



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